[ Ango probably needs a drink, but that's also risky. Ango is close to breaking from the weight of his guilt for what is going to happen in Dazai's future and now this happened. ]
Maybe we should arm everyone with pillows and let them fight it out before the trial. Or play Never have I ever. That one might work out better with this group.
[ Imagine them all trying to get each other to drink.
He's quiet for a moment as he feels that hand touching his arm. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss the casual closeness they shared before Rean put in that space. Leaning a little towards the other as he keeps his gaze away. ]
Are you reminding yourself of that as well? He was the culprit and didn't get away with it.
I think Never Have I Ever sounds like it'd go much better with the group. I do hope the four of us could get together and have a pillow fight again. It'd be fun.
[ While Rean didn't necessarily feel comfortable with all of the touching the other had done recently, more or less the problem areas he pointed out in particular, there was at least a sense of familiarity with it that he missed. And the leaning was at least innocuous and welcome, as he's had other people do it to him before, so he allowed it.
He felt himself relax a little but only marginally so. The situation they were in made it difficult for him not to be rife with tension.
...And of course Dazai read him like an open book. Even if he hid it well. The man just likely knew him too well by now.
He sighed softly. ]
Just a little bit, yeah. It helps I voted for him, but not all of it were for the right reasons, though let me say I'm grateful he was guilty.
I'll be sure to get more ammunition for our fight then.
[ Keeping his tone light, but it takes a while longer before he finally looks at Rean. He has regrets with how things shook out, and it feels like there's a gap there that wasn't there previously. For a while, he wondered if he was going to lose him just like he's losing Ango.
Focusing on Rean's thoughts and feelings on the trial was much easier for someone like him to navigate. ]
He did treat everyone like they weren't worth his time. Even if he wound up being innocent, he still had a hand with killing Pizza. And would have tried to kill another time.
[ Oh no, Dazai...regardless of what happened, though, no one could replace the man for him. And if someone hurt him, that someone might be surprised to see how fast he could forego the diplomacy route once people fucked up the people he cared about.
There was a pause, though. ]
I know. But, I...it feels strange. I didn't feel anything when I watched him fall. It was the same for Shin, but this time I think it's because I disliked him. Knowing that, it feels wrong.
I'm still not sad to see Ulquiorra go. But, thinking about it, I had never gotten along with him. He even made me so angry once that I...I thought I was going to hit him.
[ He phrased that last part much nicely than how some of his thoughts were running at the time. ]
I'm just scared of feeling like this again. It's...not normal.
We can even bring snacks. I found some great places that I've been hitting up for some of my meals.
[ You know, the meals he doesn't take with Rean.
With not feeling anything though... ha. He understands that for someone like Rean, that isn't normal. Rean usually dwells in the light and really tries to understand and care for others- well the others that are nice in return. The ones that aren't weird as Shin or as un-moving as Ulquiorra.
There's something of a soft look, as well as a whisper of something complicated in his expression. ]
I thought about pressing those wounds Zangetsu left on him when he talked about Pizza.
[ Tilting his head a little towards Rean. ]
I know it's different for you. You're someone who does their best to keep their composure and to do the right thing. You try your best to do good. [ Another pause. ] I know it may not be any help, but I don't think it makes you a bad person for not feeling anything at their deaths.
He went quiet, watching the other man's expression. He wondered what things were running through his head at that time, and when he made that admission. ]
Mm. Still, thank you for saying that, Dazai.
I doubt it's going to get any easier, and...someone even told me that it'll get harder before it does, but at least I think it's something I might understand a little better now.
[ Then he'll give a serious look before closing his eye. ]
It probably won't be easier. There will be times you may be scared of yourself or everything happening here. [ There's a beat as he looks at him through his lashes. ] But you aren't walking this path alone. If you need help or just a moment to put yourself back together, just let me know.
[ Just going to ignore what seeing Rean's eyes getting a little watery does to him. Dazai steps in closer to Rean's side to bump his arm gently against his. It's kind of a hug. If he wants anything more, he'll have to instigate it or ask. ]
[ Maybe he'll take him up on that offer, but another night. There's food, bothering people, and making sure Rean goes to bed on the agenda for tonight. ]
I have a book on stars I can lend you later.
[ Just going to fall in step beside him as they head back. ]
at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire.
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no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 08:51 pm (UTC)Maybe we should arm everyone with pillows and let them fight it out before the trial. Or play Never have I ever. That one might work out better with this group.
[ Imagine them all trying to get each other to drink.
He's quiet for a moment as he feels that hand touching his arm. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss the casual closeness they shared before Rean put in that space. Leaning a little towards the other as he keeps his gaze away. ]
Are you reminding yourself of that as well? He was the culprit and didn't get away with it.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 11:05 pm (UTC)I think Never Have I Ever sounds like it'd go much better with the group. I do hope the four of us could get together and have a pillow fight again. It'd be fun.
[ While Rean didn't necessarily feel comfortable with all of the touching the other had done recently, more or less the problem areas he pointed out in particular, there was at least a sense of familiarity with it that he missed. And the leaning was at least innocuous and welcome, as he's had other people do it to him before, so he allowed it.
He felt himself relax a little but only marginally so. The situation they were in made it difficult for him not to be rife with tension.
...And of course Dazai read him like an open book. Even if he hid it well. The man just likely knew him too well by now.
He sighed softly. ]
Just a little bit, yeah. It helps I voted for him, but not all of it were for the right reasons, though let me say I'm grateful he was guilty.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-02 11:39 pm (UTC)[ Keeping his tone light, but it takes a while longer before he finally looks at Rean. He has regrets with how things shook out, and it feels like there's a gap there that wasn't there previously. For a while, he wondered if he was going to lose him just like he's losing Ango.
Focusing on Rean's thoughts and feelings on the trial was much easier for someone like him to navigate. ]
He did treat everyone like they weren't worth his time. Even if he wound up being innocent, he still had a hand with killing Pizza. And would have tried to kill another time.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 01:13 am (UTC)[ Oh no, Dazai...regardless of what happened, though, no one could replace the man for him. And if someone hurt him, that someone might be surprised to see how fast he could forego the diplomacy route once people fucked up the people he cared about.
There was a pause, though. ]
I know. But, I...it feels strange. I didn't feel anything when I watched him fall. It was the same for Shin, but this time I think it's because I disliked him. Knowing that, it feels wrong.
I'm still not sad to see Ulquiorra go. But, thinking about it, I had never gotten along with him. He even made me so angry once that I...I thought I was going to hit him.
[ He phrased that last part much nicely than how some of his thoughts were running at the time. ]
I'm just scared of feeling like this again. It's...not normal.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 01:38 am (UTC)[ You know, the meals he doesn't take with Rean.
With not feeling anything though... ha. He understands that for someone like Rean, that isn't normal. Rean usually dwells in the light and really tries to understand and care for others- well the others that are nice in return. The ones that aren't weird as Shin or as un-moving as Ulquiorra.
There's something of a soft look, as well as a whisper of something complicated in his expression. ]
I thought about pressing those wounds Zangetsu left on him when he talked about Pizza.
[ Tilting his head a little towards Rean. ]
I know it's different for you. You're someone who does their best to keep their composure and to do the right thing. You try your best to do good. [ Another pause. ] I know it may not be any help, but I don't think it makes you a bad person for not feeling anything at their deaths.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 06:15 pm (UTC)[ Dazai, plz.
He went quiet, watching the other man's expression. He wondered what things were running through his head at that time, and when he made that admission. ]
Mm. Still, thank you for saying that, Dazai.
I doubt it's going to get any easier, and...someone even told me that it'll get harder before it does, but at least I think it's something I might understand a little better now.
1/2
Date: 2020-02-03 06:30 pm (UTC)Oh you know... chips and candy bars.
[ That covers the basic food groups, right? From his expression, he realizes Rean might not approve though. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 06:31 pm (UTC)It probably won't be easier. There will be times you may be scared of yourself or everything happening here. [ There's a beat as he looks at him through his lashes. ] But you aren't walking this path alone. If you need help or just a moment to put yourself back together, just let me know.
1/2
Date: 2020-02-03 06:42 pm (UTC)Just by the very stern look Dazai must know Rean does not Approve. ]
2/2
Date: 2020-02-03 06:45 pm (UTC)He looked like he almost might cry. He won't, but he's just really touched. ]
...You too, alright? We're in this together, so it's only fair for me to offer my shoulder in return as well.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-03 07:16 pm (UTC)I might use it as a pillow instead. Ready to eat?
no subject
Date: 2020-02-04 06:13 pm (UTC)This is just fine as it was, allowing their arms to touch without thinking too hard about it. ]
Haha, I guess that could be fine for a little while.
But yeah, I think I'm just about ready. Let's head back together.
[ He'll finally move so they could get going. ]
we can probably call this good since tonight there's going to be the other stuff
Date: 2020-02-04 06:33 pm (UTC)I have a book on stars I can lend you later.
[ Just going to fall in step beside him as they head back. ]