[ He can tell it's not a comfortable topic, and the moment the "O" word is said, then he gets it. There's a pause before he moves to Rean to put an arm around his back in a half hug. ]
I don't think she'll carry the threats out. [ There is a pause, before he decides to just say it. ] Ango's secret may destroy our friendship, while my secret isn't really mine. It may cause a bloody war in Yokohama.
Dazai's really the only one who knew about ogre, and Rean hoped it remained that way? But he'll turn slightly into the half-hug a bit, before righting himself a little. ]
I'm half on the fence whether she'd be able to, or whether she couldn't at this point. But...I can definitely see her being unable to carry it out.
[ Because, yeah. This was a lot of worlds they were talking about here. ]
[ He's not going to move out of Rean's space, but not because the topic is difficult. It was because he didn't want to really see Rean's face clearly when he shares the full story. ]
Yokohama used to be a battleground between different groups. It was chaos and everyone was out for blood. The government wouldn't help out because they were hoping that all the groups would wipe themselves out completely despite the casualties.
[ There's a pause. ]
This next part is something you mustn't share with anyone. Not even Ango.
The Port Mafia was responsible for most of it. The boss at the time was losing touch with reality. He was paranoid and wanted a blood bath.
[ Now they're at the part where he knows Rean might make a face. ]
This was when I got involved in the group in the first place. It was about four years ago, when Mori found me after I tried killing myself. Mori was the doctor for the group. He patched me up and took me with him to go see the old boss. He was giving Mori orders to mount a full scale attack on some other groups when Mori slit his throat.
[ Dazai tapped his own throat. ]
He told me that I was the witness. I was to tell anyone who asked that the boss entrusted the group to Mori. That he was dying when Mori tried cutting his throat to insert a breathing tube in. Then he was going to help me kill myself after everyone was satisfied with the explanation.
The old boss had a lot of loyalty in the group. If word got out that Mori murdered him, then it would mean an all out war within the group, and the city would be dragged back into it.
[ There's the face. And because it's Rean...he'll share the next part. ]
It turns out, he needed me to be a witness a lot longer than he intended. There were some stubborn members who were loyal to the old boss or those who would use it to try to take over.
For a year, he had to keep stopping my attempts or saving me from death's door. It wasn't until an interesting case came along and he put me to work that I finally stopped actively trying to kill myself.
[ It is difficult because of the expressions Rean is making. Because he doesn't usually talk about this stuff to anyone. It's all in the past and Mori is the only one who knows how dark it is inside of his heart.
He'll finally step out of Rean's space with this. Reaching up to touch the top of his head lightly. He won't even tell Rean his own feelings on being prevented to die. Rean doesn't need to know that. ]
I'm not going to do anything to keep them silent about the secret. If it comes out... I'm sure Mori has a strong enough following that it won't be nearly as bad as it used to be. Mori also has a deal going on in my current timeline that will guarantee that the police can't touch him.
[ He feels bitter about that tbh. ]
A part of me actually would love to see him deal with the fall out of it.
[ Things are #complicated when it comes to him and the one who was "caring" for him ]
He doesn't. He's the kind of man that can only think logically for the gain of himself and the group. For example, right now in my world he put together a plot using Ango to bring in a dangerous group. In exchange for not putting a hit out on Ango and to taking out the group, he's going to get a licence that will make it legal for us to use our abilities.
[ A pause. ]
He's also using this plan to make me leave the group. He's afraid I'll kill him the same way he killed his predecessor.
[ It's really funny. Dazai never had such plans in his head. ]
at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by men in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire.
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no subject
Date: 2020-02-06 12:18 am (UTC)I don't think she'll carry the threats out. [ There is a pause, before he decides to just say it. ] Ango's secret may destroy our friendship, while my secret isn't really mine. It may cause a bloody war in Yokohama.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-06 11:31 pm (UTC)Dazai's really the only one who knew about ogre, and Rean hoped it remained that way? But he'll turn slightly into the half-hug a bit, before righting himself a little. ]
I'm half on the fence whether she'd be able to, or whether she couldn't at this point. But...I can definitely see her being unable to carry it out.
[ Because, yeah. This was a lot of worlds they were talking about here. ]
And...what do you mean by 'blood war'?
next tag will be CW Suicide stuff
Date: 2020-02-06 11:43 pm (UTC)Yokohama used to be a battleground between different groups. It was chaos and everyone was out for blood. The government wouldn't help out because they were hoping that all the groups would wipe themselves out completely despite the casualties.
[ There's a pause. ]
This next part is something you mustn't share with anyone. Not even Ango.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-08 02:41 pm (UTC)...That's horrible.
[ Like seriously, how else could he respond to that? It made him rightfully angry, you know. ]
I promise. I'm rather good at keeping well-guarded secrets safe.
cw: suicide
Date: 2020-02-08 04:50 pm (UTC)[ Now they're at the part where he knows Rean might make a face. ]
This was when I got involved in the group in the first place. It was about four years ago, when Mori found me after I tried killing myself. Mori was the doctor for the group. He patched me up and took me with him to go see the old boss. He was giving Mori orders to mount a full scale attack on some other groups when Mori slit his throat.
[ Dazai tapped his own throat. ]
He told me that I was the witness. I was to tell anyone who asked that the boss entrusted the group to Mori. That he was dying when Mori tried cutting his throat to insert a breathing tube in. Then he was going to help me kill myself after everyone was satisfied with the explanation.
The old boss had a lot of loyalty in the group. If word got out that Mori murdered him, then it would mean an all out war within the group, and the city would be dragged back into it.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-09 03:03 pm (UTC)Oh, Dazai...
[ He looked like he might cry for him. But, he didn't. ]
...It looks like he didn't really want to kill you, though. If he still had you around for so long.
Cw Suicide
Date: 2020-02-09 04:57 pm (UTC)It turns out, he needed me to be a witness a lot longer than he intended. There were some stubborn members who were loyal to the old boss or those who would use it to try to take over.
For a year, he had to keep stopping my attempts or saving me from death's door. It wasn't until an interesting case came along and he put me to work that I finally stopped actively trying to kill myself.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-09 07:55 pm (UTC)...I'm glad he stopped you from doing that, though I...have to admit that I feel a little conflicted about all this.
Thank you for letting me know, though. I understand that saying this was rather difficult, so there was that at least.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-09 08:14 pm (UTC)He'll finally step out of Rean's space with this. Reaching up to touch the top of his head lightly. He won't even tell Rean his own feelings on being prevented to die. Rean doesn't need to know that. ]
I'm not going to do anything to keep them silent about the secret. If it comes out... I'm sure Mori has a strong enough following that it won't be nearly as bad as it used to be. Mori also has a deal going on in my current timeline that will guarantee that the police can't touch him.
[ He feels bitter about that tbh. ]
A part of me actually would love to see him deal with the fall out of it.
[ Things are #complicated when it comes to him and the one who was "caring" for him ]
no subject
Date: 2020-02-09 09:45 pm (UTC)For once, he'll close his eyes as Dazai pat the top of his head. Then he'll open them, showing an expression close to a little surprise. ]
...It wouldn't be too bad, I think, if that happened.
I have the feeling he didn't really have your best interests in mind.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-09 09:52 pm (UTC)[ A pause. ]
He's also using this plan to make me leave the group. He's afraid I'll kill him the same way he killed his predecessor.
[ It's really funny. Dazai never had such plans in his head. ]